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September 12, 2017

Narwhals on Wheels!

BREAKING NEWS: Some local narwhals were spotted roller-skating in Brooklyn Bridge Park this last Friday, September 8th. Locals watched in awe as the typically clumsy creatures breezed past fellow human skaters with ease, holding hands and even performing tricks!

One brave journalist approached one of the narwhals and asked “H – how are you doing? Are you having a good time?”, to which the giggling narwhal (a second-year named Ilannah, our sources tell us) replied, “it’s been fun. I went down about three times. It hurt. It’s been enjoyable though!”

Another narwhal (Calvin Rezen, a third-year at COPA) chimed in to say: “it’s actually a revelation. This has been a great night!”

Shortly thereafter, the narwhals were seen slipping back into the cool waters of the Hudson. Some sources close to the narwhals say they will resurface again at the first Intramurals event this Wednesday night at 7:30pm, at the McBurney YMCA Gym. Until then, keep your eyes and ears open because narwhals are taking over the city!